Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
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My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
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I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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