We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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