1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
