Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
You're like the curious george of whores
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
