That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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