You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
