My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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