U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
420 ftw
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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