I just cut my nipple shaving
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
