i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
