Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
How external is "for external use only"?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
