No awkward lesbian experiences without me
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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