this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
