gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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