Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
