i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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