it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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