walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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