so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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