if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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