i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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