She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
