Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Randomize
