Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
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he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
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