He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
