Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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