JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
