OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
