I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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