she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 2 1 whiskey
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came so hard my ears popped.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I have post one night stand depression
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize