Dual....:-)
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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