Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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