I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
