If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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