I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
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