so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Where are you guys?
Drunk
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
