dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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