it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
