Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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