Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
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Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
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I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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