We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
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