Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Randomize
