Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
