I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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