awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
