remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
