You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Sexist Restaurant Owner Tells Woman To ‘Keep Her Legs Open’ After Firing Her
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
19 True Stories So Scary You May Never Turn The Lights Off Again
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?