Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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