You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
one two three fourrrrnication!
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
