Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
