Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
