The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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