Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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