At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
