You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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