woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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