how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
