so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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