What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
