I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
