If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
