I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
