i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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