My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
