i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
We were destined to go to rehab together
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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