I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
